But… but…
As much as you know what a bracha each child is, you feel like you’re not as excited as you should be (want to be?) about this baby. Because you’re worried, too.
And no, it’s not labor that making you anxious – it’s after the baby’s born. The newborn stage. And the months that follow.
Maybe you’ve read up, tried some things on your other kid (or kids), but nothing worked in the past. You feel like you tried everything, but nothing ever worked. It took months before your baby slept more than a few hours at a time, and even then it was hard – with that constant flow of “what if”s and “should I”s going around your head.
You know that other people seem to just have “easier” babies, and you wonder if you’re doing something wrong or if there’s just something wrong with your babies. One thing you know for sure – you don’t want to be stumbling through the dark trying to figure out the “right” way this time.
You’re so good at getting things done, and feel capable and efficient in nearly every other area of life, but somehow, when it comes to the newborn stage, you feel like a failure. And, even though you tell yourself over and over again that you’re trying your best —